he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
