Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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