u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
