belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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