we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
