Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Too much gin, very little bucket
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize