Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
