yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
