marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
