dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
no, he came in my armpit
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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