no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
