phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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