We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize