So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
