Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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