so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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