i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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