when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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