Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He passed out mid-signature
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
