don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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