I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
