we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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