In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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