Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We got so high we made milksteak
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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