i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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