already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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