It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
