yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
