VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
