He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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