He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
