Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
