when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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