I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
