Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
