My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
