just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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