Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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