I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
