everyone is single if you try hard enough
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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