you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
