he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My ass is underappreciated
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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