Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
