the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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