I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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