His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
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we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
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Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
you never un-have a 4some
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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