what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
