Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
