i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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