I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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