I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize