Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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