one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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