i barfeds in our rink
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize