too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
