office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize